Things Just Got Real

As many of you who have been reading along for awhile may know, my husband serves in the military. The Air Force to be specific.
The military has been a part of our relationship since day one. When we met my husband was in ROTC. He commissioned one week before our wedding (Speaking of wedding….holy moly we look like babies in that photo). I was welcomed into the Air Force with a saber tap on my back side and the rest was history. 
Over 8 years later and it’s been a roller coaster ride. We’ve lived in 5 homes, bouncing between two bases, and we have welcomed 2 wonderful kids. The one thing we did not have under out belt was a deployment.
Until now.
I won’t bore you with the details, but because of the nature of my husband’s job he wasn’t expected to ever have to deploy. So from the beginning, the word had been put out of my mind. I had watched friends say goodbye to their husbands and celebrated their returns, but for me it was a distant reality. 
Then something changed. Wars have been raging for too many years, man power is being stretched beyond their capabilities. So now those that “we’re never going to deploy” now are. And somehow I was still blindsided. 
One evening my husband walked in from what was otherwise a normal day. He took one look at me, said the “D” word, and I crumbled. No sugar coating it here. I wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t see it coming. Questions flooded my mind….”Where are you going”, “How long will you be gone”, “What will you be doing”??? 
Over time all of the questions have been answered. For the most part this deployment is a “good” one, circumstances are on our side. However, I am still less than thrilled. Some may think that I need to put on my “big girl panties” and deal with this. And I am. But I’m not happy about it.
I have seen a lot of posts, poems, sayings, and quotes about how tough military spouses are (and don’t get me wrong we ARE), however there is another side to things. There is fear, uncertainty, sadness, worry, stress, loneliness, and maybe even some anger. Since this is our first deployment there is so much that we don’t know yet, that we will have to learn along the way. Until then I have to say goodbye to my husband, best friend, partner in crime, carpenter, handyman, and amazing father to my kids. 
Why am I telling you all this? Well the time has come and it’s “go” time. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that I will be cherishing every minute with my little family from now until he leaves. So between now and whenever my blogging may be more spotty than usual. Once I gain my footing again I will hopefully be back to normal and cranking out all kinds of creativity!!! 
Thanks for listening!!!


  1. Oh Courtney I feel for you! Spend time with your family, we’ll all still be here when you’re ready to come back xx

  2. Hi Courtney – it’s so understandable – we’ll all be waiting here for you when you come back.
    Big hugs,

  3. I was a military spouse for eight years. In that time we did 5 deployments. Surround yourself with possitive people and you will survive. My friends got me through a lot back then. Mr T has been out for over a year now and its bizarre to me that we will never go through that again!

  4. I’m sorry you got blind-sided by this! I have a friend, whose husband is in the army. I think he’s deployed 3 or 4 times in the 5 or 6 years they’ve been married. They actually just moved back from Germany yesterday. I can put you in touch with her, if you’d like. She is super sweet and I bet she’d have some great advice for you!

  5. Enjoy your time!

  6. I was raised in the Air Force during the Vietnam War. We moved so much that I attended 14 different schools until by the 9th grade when my parents got divorced. Please thank your hubby for serving his country…I appreciate him. And I thank you for being the strong woman behind the man.

  7. Wishing your family the very best!

  8. Take all of the time you need – enjoy your hubby and family. we’ll see you again after “D-day!” hugs!

  9. It isn’t easy to comment to a post like this, so I will just say that you will have all of us behind you in thoughts and prayers. I am so grateful for families like yours who do so much for our country while we go on about our everyday lives. My grandson was deployed, he is now home safely, Write for us later, we will be waiting!

  10. My husband was deployed to Iraq during our very first year of marriage (2004). I understand how you feel….scared, angry, etc. But you will make it through and your marriage will be stronger for it. Best of luck!

  11. You both look so lovely in your wedding pic!

    It will be hard, I’m sure, but you will get through this.

    All my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


  12. I am sorry to hear that, Courtney, especially because you guys did not expect anything like that to happen. As I live in South-Africa I am not very familiar with the US military ways, but I know everyone dislikes the “D” word. I’ll keep you in my thoughts.

  13. I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine what you are feeling. I’d be crying a lot! Keep us posted on how you are.

  14. Wow. You both have my respect and admiration. Good for you for prioritizing and knowing what’s most important in how you’re spending your time. Good luck and God bless you!

  15. Cannot imagine what this is like for those in the military. More difficult than anything I have had to deal with in my life. My thoughts and prayers will be with you. Remember, a creative woman is always prepared to handle the biggest obstacle in her life. I know you will be able to tackle any problem that comes along and overcome it. God bless you and your family.

  16. I’m sorry that this happened, especially since you were never expecting to face it. It will take a bit to get into a new routine, but it’s going to be okay! 🙂 (I’m not a military spouse, but I unexpectedly became a single mom when my kids were babies)

    Hang in there!

  17. May God give you His peace and courage to get through these hard days.

  18. Hey Courtney, You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please tell your husband Thank You for me…his service is admired and appreciated. You know that you can vent anytime…your loyal followers will understand.


  19. Hugs Courtney! No matter what the circumstances are deployments always always stink and it’s especially hard when you don’t see them coming (did that with deployment #1)! It is hard! We’re about half way through our second one and I can tell you that it doesn’t last forever. It seems like it will be it doesn’t and you will get into a routine and before you know it he will be home and your family will be whole again. huge hugs girl!

  20. Sorry to hear this, I can’t even begin to imagine, I wish no family had to deal with that.

  21. My husband was in the service as were two of my children. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. It is hard on those deployed, but the unsung heros are those who stay behind. Thank you both for your service to our country? Jan Cate

  22. I hope you have a great Family Support Group. My husband left for the start of a tour to Afghanistan less than a week after we moved back to the United States. While we knew the deployment was coming, the move was very unexpected, with only a 3 week notice. He is currently serving in Afghanistan and still has a good portion of 2013 to go before we see him again. I have 4 children and know what you are going through. When the day comes that you just need to talk, vent, or reach out to another adult, feel free to email – it helps so much more than you might think. God bless you, your sweet children, and especially your Soldier.

  23. I hope you have a great Family Support Group. My husband left for the start of a tour to Afghanistan less than a week after we moved back to the United States. While we knew the deployment was coming, the move was very unexpected, with only a 3 week notice. He is currently serving in Afghanistan and still has a good portion of 2013 to go before we see him again. I have 4 children and know what you are going through. When the day comes that you just need to talk, vent, or reach out to another adult, feel free to email – it helps so much more than you might think. God bless you, your sweet children, and especially your Soldier.

  24. I love reading your blog and am so inspired by your creativity but have yet to leave a comment for you. I didn’t want this to go unsaid though:

    You sure sound like you have your “big girl panties” on to me. No matter what the circumstances, a deployment is going to be incredibly difficult on both the military member and their family. I’m really sorry that you have to go through this. Thank you, your husband and your children for the sacrifices you make in service to this country.

  25. i am a reader and i have enjoyed reading ur blog for awhile HOWEVER you hug and kiss that man of urs till ur lips hurt I am single and 57 i still wear my vietnam POW braclet from the 70’s and all of our Military how a special place in my heart saying prayers for u and ur family and may God bless and keep you both stong and with a peace that passes all understanding

  26. Hang in there Courtney — hugs and God’s blessings to you and your family. 🙂

  27. I am sure this is not going to make you feel better, but I just wanted to thank you for the sacrifice you and your family are making for our country. Deployed or not, I am sure that military life has had many challenges that you and your hubby have faced together. I will be praying for his safety and that your time apart would make you a stronger couple 🙂

  28. I am an Air Force Mom and I fear the dreaded “D” word every day! My son has only been in the service for almost a year, but he is already talking about possible deployment later this year. 🙁 So I kinda feel your anxiety, albeit in a different way. Thank you to your hubby for his service to our country and to you and all the other military spouses who hold the fort down (so to speak) while they do their jobs. God speed to him and many prayers going up for both of you!

  29. Ok, wow… Have you read this blog? She is a military spouse and she just cracks me up. I am not a military spouse, but I do appreciate every single thing our servicemen and women and their spouses sacrifice for us. Take care and know that people are praying for you!

  30. Bless your heart, it’s never easy. You’ll need to do alot of praying, talking to other military wives.
    I don’t know how you feel. I can only imagine.
    My husband and I were married 3 1/2 weeks when he had to leave for Viet Nam. He was also in the Air Force, Jolly Greens, Helicopter, flight engineer. We knew he’d be leaving soon is why we got married when we did. We went out on our first date on Oct. 18th.,1968 and got married on Nov.30th,1968 and he left Dec. 26th.,1968. We really didn’t know each other, at all. Talk about being tested, I had to learn what it means to be a military wife on my own. No helpful hubs there. Didn’t know any other military wives except one altho in Tucson it wasn’t hard to find one. Davis Monthan AFB is there.
    His job was to go over DMZ lines to pick up shot down pilots. Uh I’m not liking this too much, I just found my guy.
    To make a long story short he came back in one piece after only 4 months as he was due to get out in August,69 so they couldn’t keep him, he was only there TDY. We’ve been married over 44 yrs.
    I wish I could be around to help you out, if nothing else to talk to, holler to, cry to. I sincerely hope you have somebody like that around, if not I’m handy. Hang in there, you’ll get thru this. You have your kids which helps. I had 3 very young kids when hubs and I got married. God Bless you and God Speed to your husband.

  31. God bless you and your family. I am married to a Civilian so I’ll admit I don’t know what you are going through. Take all the time you need. We are all here and will wait for your return. Blogging is a great and fun thing but our families mus come first. Reach out for any support other other spouses on the base can give you. I’ve heard that is the best thing you can do. Hugs and Prayers, Katharine

  32. Wow, my heart just goes out to you. I do not know how military wives do it at all. Moving often would be difficult enough but deployment just sucks. My husband had to go away for a month for work {only a month!} to California and I was so depressed about.
    Enjoy every moment you have with him. And thank you to both you and him…your service to our country is appreciated beyond what you can imagine.

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  35. It’s crazy I stumbled upon your blog now through someone via Pinterest.. because my husband is commissioned with the Army and is set to leave so very soon as well; we’ll be going through the big “D” together (I don’t mean Divorce or Dallas!). My hope is that you have a strong support system; whether it be friends close to station or your family and especially your kids. Keep up a routine with them, schedule social occasions for yourself. It’s soooo monumentally important and makes the time go by so much quicker!
    Keep your chin up, girl! ~~ Andi

  36. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers. And thank you to you and your husband for service to our country, Your blog is an inspiration for so many and we are here for you any time,

  37. I’m so sorry Courtney. But can I say you have the most beautiful wedding photo! In fact, when I saw “the big D word” I thought divorce seeing you had your wedding photo at the beginning. I’m glad it wasn’t that. You are such a lovely person and just look at all the support you have from your buddies in blogland. We love you and are always here for you. You give us such joy and inspiration in all your posts. Know that you are never alone. xxx Julie

  38. Anonymous says:

    Like another one of your readers, I too was raised in a career Air Force family during the Vietnam era. My father was deployed from MacDill to Cam Ranh in 1968 and the roller coaster ride began. My mother was a strong woman and did her best to shield us children from the horrors of that war but at the time it was followed graphically in the news. I am thankful for your children that this no longer occurs. My father returned safely to us, went on to serve our country until his retirement and was interred with full military honors at his passing a few years ago. I know it is an incredibly difficult journey your entire family faces and my prayers go out for you. May God bless and keep your husband safe as he embarks and thoughout this journey in his life.

  39. Iam keeping you, your husband and of course your kids in my prayers. I thank your family for your service to our country, it is because of your sacrifice that we all get to enjoy the freedom we have and we owe all of you big time!

  40. Courtney- My husband was a Marine for 10 years with 3 deployments. A book that i found very VERY helpful was God Strong by Sara Horn, this book helped me so much that i bought them for every woman at our chapel on base whose husbands were deploying! I’ll keep you in my prayers! ~Mandie

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